Last week in November - "Vacation"

It rained and was muddy and cold through Wednesday so I caught up on Christmas stuff. Thursday Thanksgiving. Friday watched Lisa's lesson with Kathy.

MMJ BMe Update

On Sun, Nov 23, 2014 at 7:13 AM, Elizabeth Pope <ehpope@embarqmail.com> wrote:

Hi Mary,

Lisa and I got together yesterday. I thought she did great with Tiara--was able to see Tiara progressively relaxing, increasing the alignment and the catch the thought goes pretty well for them with the dressage background. That's the good news. 

I learned a lot playing with Try yesterday. Mainly I learned if she isn't in the mood and I can't change it, there will be no sincere alignment so no point in going on.  

(Note: Try bit two people this week and snapped at another when they tried to put her halter on her in the pasture--very uncharacteristic for my perfectly wonderful warm, loving, safe friend. Both vets have checked her out and found nothing physical. I have asked Try what is going on and she is saying to me--if I am hearing her correctly--"I am in a bad mood, I don't know why, I am confused, I don't want to do anything, LEAVE ME ALONE, do not ask me to do anything.") 

2 minute video--not sure it is worth your time to watch but link is included below. 

1. Because Try was cranky I picked her to play with thinking she might enjoy the low-keyed attention in the sunshine etc.

2. GM she was fairly relaxed but tuned out--energy ribbon not leading to more relaxation so went on to alignment. I kept trying to find a way to reward the slightest relaxation and release but she wasn't offering any. I stopped and rubbed her forehead at one point and she did melt for me really well--this is our go to spot for relaxation.

3. Alignment: although it got slightly better as we went along and we did both sides, I could see her cutting her eyes at me and she was so slow--no energy put forth to connect with me--I was embarrassed to see the video. I am wondering if I need MORE TM energy in some way. Today I plan, however, a session just to see if I can change up the mood.

4. Catch the thought: I could see her chest tighten and this was not difficult for her and she responded quickly but she did not have the lovely catch the thought and round up simultaneously that she has had twice in the previous week.

5. A question about teaching Try to soften when I touch her face--am I correct that this is while focusing on the center of her chest and will this lead to Try rounding up every time I touch her face with GM whether I holding lead or not--just touch lovingly while focusing TM energy on the center of her chest?

6. Do you reckon she is bored with what I am doing and do I need to somehow change things up?

7. Will let you know if I have good results today. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iE0CaFDRzJU&feature=youtu.be

From Mary:

Try has so very much pre-exhisting communication with you - she could be getting frustrated when she thinks she should know how to answer you - yet it is not resulting in reward - I would be quick to get out and move on to something else when she first starts to soften in the face the slightest bit - was this video in one time frame? She had a great shift of Energy early on - but then seems to tune out as you went - try to notice when you get a 2 + 2 is 4 and go on the something else.

yes to 5 - but only if she understands clearly that this is the answer - it sounds like she has a lot of other things she is pretty certain are the answers and is getting frustrated if she does not know what path you want her one -

make it really clear just with the slight pressure on the nose for now - lessen the exaggeration of you body moving into hers - and just work on that one 'sheet' of communication - when she softens her face  release - and treat if you want - be real quick to get out and change it up to something else to reward her - she has a lot of well paved roads - we want to be helping the communication on those roads even clearer.

Mary

Mary,

I think this is huge--ordinarily I would be rewarding in so many ways step by step i.e. good girl, pats, rub her forehead, wait, treats (I have 3 categories of treats and am careful how I give them and when--gave treat too late in the previous session then too many. I have so-so treats for ok stuff that I still want to reinforce, good treats for big improvements and a super treat when the session ends.)

In my desire to be perfect in my BMe learning I was only just trying to reward with GM cookies and I think we were both frustrated and communication was so unclear between us.

Also Try is absolutely a horse not to drill--move on when she gets it!

Will let you know how it goes--between rain and barn being inundated with water, I have lost consistency.

From Mary:

Please keep me in the loop on Try's progress - Anytime I've had anyone say their horse was nippy or cranky it has usually stemmed from the horse being frustrated by the human's communication - and this is one of those things that can be really hard to diagnose via internet - if I need to come up for a short visit just for you and Try - I am willing to do that to ensure I am helping guide you both in the way I intend - just keep me posted please :-) MMJ

Will keep you informed. Try has cranky periods. She had a bad one August of 2013 and vet found arthritis issues--injected hocks/adequan. I have whatever vet is at the barn continuing to check this and so far no need for repeat of this. Last January, Try was cranky and vet thought it might be hormones in aging mare. But now if it is physical neither vet can find anything. I am considering chiropractor for accupuncture or massage therapist.

Also she is grumpy in her pasture when I drive in before she even sees me AND her biting people/children when I am not even there and Try doesn't even know them--doesn't seem an immediate reaction to human communication. It could be a general frustration to humans, weather, her 2 y/o pasture mate, arthritis. I am very concerned as I want this to be a good time in her life when she feels good, is healthy and feels loved and valued.

Will let you know.

Thank you for offering the workshop and sharing your expertise!!! YES to continuing with the workshop on a monthly basis.

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COURSE WRAPUP QUESTIONS: I would like to ask that you respond to the following questions with candor and heart. (you may reply in the body of an email or attach a word doc)

1. What have you discovered is your best way of creating GM within yourself? Little smile and think of my golden girl Try. I even think of it as GM golden mode. I think of how much I love her and love to stroke her golden coat. I have this linked to the "one with the universe" state of mind I learned to create years ago. I don't always remember to bring GM forth in me LOL!! However, if I want it, its there.

2. What have you discovered is the best way to guide your horse to reach GM? Stroke her forehand and ears and she will melt. She doesn't see the energy ribbon as a cue to melt--just tolerates it. I believe I de-sensitized her to it. OR perhaps I need to find ways to give her a reason to want to relax/be released from pressure.

3. Out of all 8 Sessions - which was the easiest for you and why? I just looked back through them and I don't feel that any of them were/are easy. In a way working on myself is the most difficult as it requires working on some fundamental change and the need for fairly constant awareness of my relaxation and positive thinking. On the other hand, applying sessions with Try and Sephira are more difficult because I am not the only one in control of what happens.

4. Which Session was the hardest and why? Session 1 thankfulness/GM/relaxation--creating in myself what my horses would like to experience.

5. Was the workshop what you expected it to be? Please elaborate. I had few expectations--my feeling was that I just wanted to learn more about using energy and visualization with my horses. So the workshop exceeded my expectations.

6. What was the most challenging part of the workshop as a whole? I have tried to not use Parelli methods along with the energy ribbon/B Me to further my learning and I think it was a mistake as it takes me away from using my intuition to focus in so much on learning a technique. (I am task oriented enough as is.) I have done the Parelli so long that I am not sure it is even Parelli but just me--I do have the right brain/big energy/artistic creativity part very strong in me and my intuition with horses is good if I will just let it be the highest priority.

7. What would you say that you have gained from this workshop? Belief in my ability to communicate with Try and Sephira on a deeper level.

8. Is there any constructive criticism you could offer to help the program help more horses & humans in the future? I have not tried session 8 yet with Try and Sephira. The fact that the workshop went eight weeks was a positive for more time for exploration but I suspect my de-sensitizing may have come from not moving along when Try and Sephira needed it. When I signed up for the course the Aug/Sept time frame was a selling point for me--i.e. to use that hot August time productively. I knew October would be difficult with trips/projects etc and I dropped the ball for nearly a month and lost momentum and lost the depth of GM I had been using/creating.

I wonder if there is a way for the facebook group to be more learning oriented. I am happy to like and support everyone--that is me. I am not comfortable posting there all the time if it is more than others as that feels selfish.

I wonder if there is a way to make journaling more a part of the workshop--I blog and make notes on the course each time I play with my horses and I am keeping a notebook with the course text, my notes, your notes, private session notes, etc.

I actually think I have a fairly good intellectual grasp of the course work BUT when I am with my horses I lose pieces and am never as effective as when you are there. I do make a list of key points and memorize them before I go to the barn and still have trouble in action remembering 5 or so points simultaneously. LOL I realized with Lisa and Tiara--that the points to remember come to me so easily, steps to follow etc--when I am just WATCHING. I want so much to read my horses moments as they happen and not miss important stuff.

ok I am rambling. Thank you for undertaking sharing your knowledge with us.!!!!!

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Learning to be good with horses?

Learning to be good with horses

A complex pursuit involving human emotional fitness, physical fitness, knowledge as a rider, ability to read and understand the horse’s emotional needs and what is needed for the physical development of the horse—all the while forming a partnership between 2 very different species. If the prerequisite to riding is calm, connected and responsive—that requires the understanding of helping the horse to be relaxed, mentally connected with the human and desiring to follow the suggestions/desires of the human. Setting priorities is important as it is impossible to do it all.

ME

1.      Emotional fitness requires physical relaxation and positive thinking as prerequisites to the magic of communication in great times and trying times. This is homework that can be done before going to the barn and requires conscious awareness at the barn. Also homework for identifying and changing unhealthy states such as fear of injury.

2.      Physical fitness for riding to me requires homework of strength training with weights and abdominal work and flexibility conditioning is huge to prevent injuries. I am relying on riding for aerobic conditioning.

3.      Mentally homework is study. Study of written/video/audio coursework in the areas of natural horsemanship, rider bio-mechanics and dressage for the physical development of the horse. The amount of material available to study through internet and home study, clinics, lessons is vast to say the least. Study includes planning priorities for sessions at the barn and assessment of those sessions afterward.

TRY

1.      Emotional fitness: Try is calm and brave and not particularly motivated to move her feet unless she becomes emotional. She is especially safe to ride and be with, even when emotional--she does not lose sight of relating to humans. She fears pressure in learning situations and fears losing control. She is very expressive of how she is feeling. She and I are hugely emotionally connected. She reads my mind.

2.      Physical fitness: the dressage training is being fantastic for Try with positive changes in muscular development occurring at her age of 23. She is not getting the aerobic training she was getting from hunter riding and this could be added although carefully as laps bore her greatly.

3.      Mentally: Try enjoys the accomplishment of learning, nickers when she gets it, as well as licking and chewing easily. Mental challenge is important for her as she gets bored easily and will not desire to be “responsive” if so. She does a lot of stuff for me just because she knows I want it—not because of any genuine ambition on her part. However, she seems to enjoy having human audiences and perhaps is competitive with other horses in showing what a great learner she is. She has been a student of western pleasure, gaming, reining, natural horsemanship, English hunter riding on the flat, dressage, and responds to the beat of music, energy levels and subtle cueing.

SEPHIRA

1.      Emotional fitness: Sephira is calm, brave but not quite as much as Try. She is more introverted than Try. She does not have Try’s emotional swings, staying, at least on the surface, calm and sweet. She gets emotional over rough handling in grooming—more offended than fearful. While having a reputation for sweetness, especially in riding, she also has a big ego and knows she is gorgeous, special and an advanced dressage horse. She is tolerant of two kinds of riders: intermediate but kind and not asking too much of her and also advanced riders who are very clear and fair and also do not push her too far or fast. She is confused about relating to a human on a deeper level though we make strides--though consistency is lacking on my part. We are sometimes very connected and other times there is no connection. She draws easily to humans but will crowd their space if allowed. She is curious.

2.      Physical fitness: this is increasing at a good pace after years of inattention. Hunter hacks and dressage lateral and vertical flexion 3-4 times per week.

3.      Mentally: Sephira is a good learner under saddle. She is pretty clueless about learning tasks on the ground and tunes out mentally. She is enormously smart and enjoys testing humans, especially with ground manners issues. She has not found satisfaction or enjoyment in learning on the ground but does enjoy dwell time and liberty. She has learned dressage to at least FEI Intermediate level and although she burned out--that learning and accomplishment says a lot.

Saturday with Lisa, Tiara and Try

Yesterday, I had a good time, learned things. Lisa and Tiara did great. Enjoyed visiting and sharing thoughts.

I learned: if I can't change Try's cranky mood, she will not really align. To get her to "catch me" I needed to stop the B Me and go back to whatever it took Parelli/Dan stuff to get the connection. I was embarrassed at how unwilling she was--certainly not a sincere thought to do things with me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iE0CaFDRzJU

I am feeling frustrated with myself to not know what to do to help Try out of her current malaise.

Friday - More on Catching the Thought from MMJ

MMJ sent video to watch on furthering catching the thought: End has incredible slow motion of this beautifully done.

Good video on Catching the Thought:

11 12 MMJ\catch the tht more.mp4

11/21 video sent to me by MMJ to further catching the thought—incredible slow motion of Dance doing this beautifully.

Review:

1.      Be clear about the goal. It is not about the feet. It is about the THOUGHT!! About the horse thinking of shifting their center of gravity back as the result of catching my thought.

2.      Softening in the shift will transfer to the saddle i.e. ½ halt—not just backing. Rebalance.

Two things to recognize:

1.      The pressure (TM alignment) goes to the center of the chest so horse recognizes this. Look to her chest muscles to tighten as first physical sign of the thought registering. The second will be the beginning of the horse rocking or making a weight shift.

2.      Softening the front of the body and coming up through the topline. This is to be taught separately. Reward only one thought at a time with a horse. MMJ: “When I touch the horse’s face, I want him to soften—soften through everything—his front end, face, poll, neck—all to melt.

a.      Ignore the backup and wait for the softening. We don’t care about the feet—only the face.

3.      Lastly when 1 and 2 are well taught, horse will put the layers together

4.      Remember to release on the softening

Thursday - Started studying Silke pack

Really like this--seems like a bridge between Parelli and B Me

Silke – 7 Games

Dvd1

4 Qualities of an Exercise

1.      Reward the slightest try

2.      Don’t break gait/slow and right

3.      Speed up w/o pressure/fast and right

4.      Healthy mind/body/emotion

Friendly Game

·        Rhythm, relaxation and retreat

·        Cock the back leg to encourage mirroring relaxation

·        Toleration is not relaxation—reward the slightest relaxation tiny

·        Give tiny releases for tiny tries: eyes, ears, nose etc

·        Good better best, never let it rest

·        Phase 1 is human’s relaxation

·        Fawn stretches HER back for horse to mirror

Massage techniques in friendly game

·        Lateral, with the muscle, circling skin over muscle

·        Watch for slightest relaxation

·        Smile and think how proud I am i.e. 60sec GM cookie

·        At a walk/trot touching at withers—can she relax—release on the try

·        Can she mirror my long, low body

·        Lifting the horses back from under carriage—soft hands can she lift

·        Good to teach the lift on the ground before asking for it in the saddle

·        If she is grouchy don’t do it, call your therapist

Porcupine Game #1

·        Gives you lightness

·        Transfers to riding aids—reins and leg

·        Increases the relationship

·        Reward the slightest try, not break gait, speed up, healthy

Backup

·        First from the nose then from halter knot a la MMJ

·        Mind, flexion, weight, feet

·        Flexions according to Silke: lateral, vertical, longitudinal, latitudinal, head and neck

·        Teaching vertical flexion in the backup is healthier for the horse than backing flat

o   Soft, open hands, reward the slightest try

o   Careful not to feel rough to horse as then she can’t understand

o   If a little bracey and head low, lift head a bit so horse doesn’t evade

o   Gives a mental connection

o   Reward connection and relaxation

o   Mini releases for mini tries; big release for big try

Thursday - Best day with Sephira and Try lethargic

Today began with walking to Sephira's pasture and Try catching me on the way to say "pick me." Gave her treat at the fence then went back to barn and came out again with BA to help her get Lexie. Try walked away from me!! That was fun as we got to play the catching game--she came to me but I likely quit too soon. Then a little attention in the pasture and left to get Sephira.

Today with Sephira--no tricks, really working with me, walk/trot/canter. Canter lovely compliments from Bethanna. With the trot I took a soft feel and tried to identify when she was "soft on the bit." I realize I have had years of not caring about this. BA has been taught by Joey to jiggle legs to get her to soften. I would have used ring fingers softly on the reins to do the same thing. After good with alignment and catch the thought but not so much with softening the front end.

Then went back to Try and went to lovely new round pen with new footing. Cool. Try honestly did not feel like moving. Played gently with lots of Parelli games and B Me alignment and catch the thought. She was resistant in catch the thought today after being lovely the last time. Tiny bits of trot not sustained/liberty. Circling on the rail, sidepass to me from intention. Concentration scattered. Also she snapped at me when I went to put her halter on in pasture 2nd time. I know she was saying to me. LEAVE-ME-ALONE-I-DO NOT-WANT-TO-DO-ANYTHING! NOT IN THE MOOD!! I do not know what to do--vets don't see anything. I think perhaps it is arthritis and wildly changing weather.

Monday - I'm back and Tuesday ride with Sephira

Starting to feel that I am getting back into the swing of things.

1. Sephira--riding with draw reins--lovely trot and canter. Remember to use leg for forward energy with Sephira especially at the canter.

next time: ride the canter on a loose rein and for the trot--light connection looking for softening, jiggling LEGS to soften.

B Me:
1. Sephira--after riding.
a. Did fairly well with alignment--she was able to "see me" so much better than yesterday.
b. "Catch the thought" shifting my weight and focusing energy and line of lead/halter to her chest was the answer. The energy ribbon was clutter.

2. Try--her usual self today--groom, hang out and B Me:
a. Some melting, aligned well by 2nd ask
b. catch the thought--she was even better than last Thursday. Nose and chest in one movement from focus on her chest. She knew what I was asking and offered--several nice ones--the third with several steps back. Gave treat and quit.

Tuesday rode Sephira with draw reins WTC on the grass in front of the barn as that was the best footing on the farm. Went really well.

Sunday

Sephira
Getting her to see me in the round pen. BME didn't work, circling with lots of walk/trot transitions and back to B ME and it was getting better. Then pleasant ride and at the end played with alignment and catch the thought and was much better--especially when I had my act together remembering all the pieces.

Try quick B Me in her pasture. Not as good as Thursday but easy back/didn't add the nose nearly as well.

Thursday - Try, Kathy and "catch the thought"

Try was great: enjoyed the lesson especially the canter--she was using her HQ for longer than before in the canter. We also played with task 2 catch the thought and Try was awesome--third attempt she put back and nose together.

Wednesday - MMJ

More on this as I get the chance to watch video and collect my thoughts.

Basically we did the session 7 "catch the thought" backup-with-collection exercise with both. For Try the issue was she kept offering things she knows. For Sephira it was tuning out/going to sleep/and her attempts much more subtle than Try.

Monday - Nov 10 - Try in prep for MMJ

Played in round pen with Try on MMJ stuff but concentration was scattered with workmen building paddock fences next to the fence. Then pleasant ride with nice concentration. Then back to round pen and all was much better.

Jennifer rode Sephira as it was a school holiday and her friends were visiting and all riding.

Friday

My first priority was observing myself for positive thoughts. It was a beautiful day and I loved the drive seeing all the fall colors in the sunshine. I carried the positive feeling with me until I got to the grocery store mid afternoon then forgot it as I was tired.

Try:

• She came to me
• She was loving
• She was relaxed
• She gave me great warm golden feeling energy
• She acknowledged my presence during the day

next time

1. pleasant ride

2. ?mental stimulation?

Sephira:

• We started with the respectful energy from Wednesday
• In the round pen we played with the golden ribbon and as we progressed I saw greater relaxation
• She follows me at liberty zone 1 to zone 1, and side-by-side for a little while.
• We played friendly game at mounting block without mounting.
• we made strides with lead line, mirroring and refreshing our memories as to lead line ground manners

next time

1. I will want to be observant. As I play friendly and help Sephira relax she loses respect and gains dominance. I believe she equates gentle, loving connection as wimpy. I now know I can use Parelli methods to change a disrespectful attitude as it arises and it likely will.

2. Time to get back to some really riding rather than lovely putzing about.

Thursday - Starting over with B ME - days 1, 2 and 3

Day One: Starting over from the beginning:

1. reviewed session 1 notes and video
2. plan 3x a day for at least 3 days - 7 min GM golden mode:

• physical relaxation
• 5 minute movie, visualization--bringing in Try or Sephira, listening to inner voice
• 60 second count down to set the feeling

Going back to reset my relaxation and positive thinking path.

Forgiving myself for getting off track. The answer if I see negativity in my horses is always GM, dwell time, mirror, just hangout together. Positive warm, loving GM cookies.

For me--I got off track with trips and non-horse stuff that is not geared for spiritual development. However, it is up to me not to others to challenge myself to stay with the program with other distractions, getting tired, etc.

Journaling to provide discipline. Perhaps in notebook, perhaps here??

So Day 1 thankfulness time

1. tension--observed, movie--focus an issue, 60 sec ct good--did with MMJ tape

2. worked on relieving tension for several minutes, movie attempts better, 60 sec great

3. less tension, movie--jogging in the sand and rubbing Try's neck--focus scattered, 60 sec touching set more GM than in quite some time.

Day Two: Session Two - Mirroring

Today I plan hanging out, dwell time, lots of GM cookies and mirroring--1. not asking for anything, and 2. ask/release and reward with cookie. (gm/visual/60sec).

THankfulness time:
1. Did in bathtub 8 am physical relaxation better, movie--asked Try for movie??, 60 sec ok
2. At Rollover with Try: phys tension better, movie--both Lexie and Try came to me physically and I quit as Lexie was nearly on top of me and I do not know her.
3. I forgot to do a 3rd time.

Mirroring: I did this with both Try and Sephira--Try at a standstill and on lead line and Sephira on lead line. Should I be seeing some result?

The MAIN thing I did was be conscious of positive thoughts and washing out any negative. I had a lot of success with this. This is especially important with Sephira as fears or anticipation of problems can affect our connection.

I played with GM and energy ribbon a lot with both horses and for both I saw greater relaxation as I went along. I even saw Sephira get a little sleepy looking. Using TM focus and energy ribbon both Try and Sephira come to me and are connected. Sephira has difficulty stopping with me.

Exhale--both Try and I exhale and recognize the cue but don't have it coupled with stopping. Sephira licked and chewed a lot but rarely exhales.
They both back from my focus and energy without the energy ribbon--unsure if its a sincere thought--catching the thought. Please review--lessons 5-8.

Day Three: Thinking and Studying

Constant Conscious Awareness

1. think positive
2. think in terms of energy
3. think about catching the thought/reading the horse
4. find release and reward with cookie: gm/vis/60sec

7: use my energy bubble to catch Try's thought and ask her to shift away from me

8. direct Try's thoughts to move her feet

Using GM to create new + pathways

ITS ALL ABOUT AWARENESS

Wednesday with Sephira

• She followed me--really sticking to me--at liberty immediately in the round pen
• She was perfect at the mounting block
• She was so much better on the lead line
• I loved her beautiful big trot and today we trotted a lot in a relaxed easy way--loose reins
• She was sweet for grooming and showering
• I was able to be gentle and loving and she recognized it as a good thing

1. check the mounting

2. progress the??

3. what's in it for her?

Tuesday with Sephira!

Today was the first attitude adjustment day in the round pen.

Sephira was lovely until I wanted to mount and kept moving as I tried various approaches. Finally enough is enough--went to round pen. Sufficient free lunge/changes of direction/not completely full out for her safety until she was ready to come to me/stick with me and follow me like a puppy. Went back to mounting and she stood still then took a step as I was mounting. Correction given then easy ride. She started out nervous both the step and walking--but we walked until she relaxed and then trotted a little. Then played with mounting several more times until we got it right.

• I loved her trot
• I felt successful in attitude adjustment
• I felt successful in winning the mounting issue
• I felt successful in reading her confidence level
• I felt successful in helping her relax

1. continue mounting block
2. what's in it for her?

Mondays

Monday October 27
Easy hack with Try, play in round pen liberty and play with kicking ball out of dressage ring. Try lovely to be with.

Monday, November 3
Same--Try in and out of bad mood.

• Cadillac who drives herself
• relax - no worries
• no pressure - safe
• we share a language
• she knows me

1. cranky/boredom whats in it for her
2. talk with her
3. ??she doesn't know why she is cranky??