Tuesday with Try

In the midst of household chaos over renovations, I was able to get to the barn and see Try for my enjoyment.

We did
1. briefly on the cueing--I picked the backup as that is our weakest of what we worked on with Dan.
I did the visualize, energy up, seat to cue direction then one leg at a time--she did not respond well--just kept turning. On the repeat then she backed directed from the seat cue. We walked a little and came back to it--with the same result--first going to leg and not getting a clean backup, then start over and Try offered backing from the seat cue.

2. I explored the idea of the release being the best friend energy--I forgot that it is non focused completely like free radicals floating thru space. It did seem to promote some nice relaxed time together on a day when I was frazzled but I can see with our 10 year history--it will take some time to get Try to "crave" or seek or truly understand release as best friend/big enveloping warm loving feeling mode.

3. We finished with going for a walk on line--passenger what-ever she wanted to do. Up the road a ways before Try decided she wanted to go back--I realized at that point that she was concerned about Mimi who was tied in the ring. Also after we went back to her pasture and hung out a while--she paced the fence line concerned about Mimi.

How to set do-able goals to get 'er done?

I will drop the LBE + energy in relationships with humans and my need for physical fitness NOT because they are unimportant but because of my huge, overwhelming, emotional need to achieve progress in cueing. I want to stay focused until we succeed.

Goals:

1. Riding: cueing--see list--21 days to a new habit--visualize, think through the steps, take my time--be persistent--reward with the cookie of big positive energy.
2. Riding: yeehaw--match time spent on precision with non focused time

Possible third goal fear
3. On the ground cueing: fear crossing the ditch--my goal now that she is offering the cross and doing it with less energy to ask her to take it in baby steps. Also making the judge's stand the sweet spot in preparation for opening and shutting a gate fears. (touching/claustrophobia)

Possible fourth goal
4. Take an online game i.e. touch it and explore body/mind/energy--reading Try and the big positive energy in the release. Give Try enough time to really respond to that energy so she can learn to seek it.

Saturday - body mind energy

Kathy and I decided to check this out--

This was very very wonderful. She was training wild mustangs with her body/mind/energy plus a soft golden colored ribbon. It was precise and lovely. It was a directed focus on to get the slightest response followed by a release of a wholistic positive energy to teach that yes that was the right answer.

It gave me a whole new idea of "neutral"--She organized her body/mind/energy as "Best Friend" mode--I interpret as a sense of oneness--overwhelming warmth, relaxation and loving energy that is scattered or loosely held--not hanging on to it. She gave an exercise to find it--use an image for 3 minutes, then give the image a one word and experience the word for 3 minutes followed by count down from 60 to 0. Perhaps to do upon mounting.

Focused body/mind/energy to ask the horse to do something she called "Tiger" mode. It has no negativity attached--simply a directed focus. She demonstrated using it to teach three areas of body control, hip, shoulder and back up. For instance she pushed the hip to get forward motion by focusing narrowly on the stifle--one clear forward thought by the horse and she released into the "Best Friend" mode etc.

For me--how to ask--

1. Creating best friend mode--I have an understanding of what this can be for me--it will take practice to have the timing to make the shift and do so as completely as I would like. This can be my neutral--both Try and I will love it. Isn't this what being with a horse is all about? Remember: Attitude class and Course in Miracles/law of attraction to create that state of being. Sunday ride glow vs oneness. A good way for me to feel this is to rub/touch Try--she doesn't really like it--Dan suggests I rub myself in her presence instead. LOL

2. A weak area for me--consciously visualize with my mind the "movie" of what I would like to happen.

3. Rhythmic circles for relaxation?

4. Reading Try for her first thought toward the ask

5. Increasing pressure when LB confident Try has not decided yet that she wants to play????? i.e. Touch it game?? She doesn't need time to process what I asked when she is confident?

What Try and I already do

We  have learned a lot of matching and mirroring body shaping, gaits, energy levels on the ground and in the saddle. It is likely we are just scratching the surface but we are on our way. Learning to control thoughts in my mind--I understand and sometimes apply this--if I am thinking loving thoughts that will draw Try, if I am thinking about what I want to get done that will send Try away mentally/physically. Being pleased with Try's effort is powerful--she seems to crave confirmation that she got it and is smart. She loves to show off for an appreciative crowd--picking up on their positive energy--when they think she is wonderful and amazing.

Thursday last day with Dan at Rollover

2014 2 20

TRUST MYSELF

I want to truly accomplish small very do-able goals and I absolutely have all the knowledge to do so.

Misc. thoughts to begin the day on Thursday

·       Do not make Try feel wrong when she is unconfident.

·       Changing me is the issue—go slow, step by step cueing, FEEL not think

·       Circling game clean up—open the door

·       7 games clean ups—review cueing etc./clarity

·       Learning the many ways I am unconsciously rude to Try

·       To some extent I feel my 3.5 years with Dan has been frivolous as compared to MH and BA this week—there time with Dan is providing a FUTURE for young horses. In comparison I am to some extent just contemplating my navel.

·       

      The news this week of osteoporosis in my hip is likely a game changer and I need more information but surely need to be even more careful especially when I am in RBE mode.

·       Dan and the babies—teaching them that intensity can be ok—not every horse owner, however accomplished at riding and physically developing a horse for sport, is trained to do this. Bethanna, however, can likely do much of this—has the timing and ability to read the horse. She has not known as much as she would like about fixing on the ground to insure her safety in the saddle and has turned to Davo to help. BUT through all the explanation from Dan is likely set up now to do this for herself, with what Roscoe needs at least. I suspect she learned the most the past three days of all of us.

·       BA, MH, Dan and I had lunch and enjoyed being together—we have never done this—we are always busy and all about business!

My session with Dan and Try on Thursday

—again about basic 101 riding cueing!! I suggested help with cueing laterals from body shape/weight/seat and that he feel to take the time to talk about it with MH and Kathy (my two dressage instructors) who were watching!! Kathy and I have already started talking and thinking along these lines to some extent.

Backing—so cueing for backup from wheelbarrow backing game:

1. Life up--go slow so it can register—attenshun —(visualize for me so Try can read my intention)

2. Back in my body--again slow, distinct step—the direction Try is backward

3. The time to begin is now: Porcupine touch with one leg and release, again slow and clear

4. Repeat with other leg

5. repeat legs

6. if she wants to go forward instead of backing--lift the rein--do not pull back to cue a backup

7. Day 2—reviewed and she had it from the first leg touch and then from my seat.

Now—21 days to build a new habit for me—I MUST progress this with distance, speed, pattern or ?? or Try as LBI will hate the repetition I need to form the habit

Also I have to read Try constantly and quickly—is there a lack of information and understanding? Teach. Or is it a LB druthers or lack of attention then control or reinforce. I can annoy her with my stick and Dan says my arms and legs are sticks also. It is NOT ok to let Try blow me off!!!

Thursday going on

Forward—

1.     Life up—tenshun—(visualize for me so Try can read my intention)

2.     Seat says forward without closing my hip angle (thank you Kathy!!) And it says only that the direction is forward?

3.     Touch says now it’s time to move

4.     This was even easier than backing

5.     We progressed this to use seat/1/2 halt to slow up the walk. In the future we can play with this to both slow and speed the walk. (I did not take the time to go through the steps slowly and carefully in my mind and body and it didn’t go as well.)

Laterals/Turning—match and mirror

1.     Straight on the circle/turn

a.      This is what I have been doing with Kathy—

b.     we do NOT need reins and I do need some leg to say what shape and size of the circle ONLY because I am not careful to teach in my body the amount of straight turn determines the circle.

2.     Bend in my body

a.      (not turn in my body with straight torso)

b.     Modern dance spiral

c.      Had to keep correcting myself

d.     Yes Try would respond and turn

e.      I wasn’t really paying attention to the difference in Try’s body

f.      By really sitting deep using leg/lifting rein and holding rein we got some nice pivots on the HQ

My aversion to contact at all. I love to have Try stretch and to come up through her topline. It is important that that happen from what happens in my body rather than fingering the reins on contact!! Dan said thinking of horse and I get higher and shorter—my paraphrase. Using my body to cue, as a former dancer, is much more natural to me than reins. How close am I to Try and I being able to match and mirror in this way? 

WHY do any of this stuff anyway??

1.     On line and liberty

a.     For a mutual need for fun and freedom

b.     To alleviate fears Try or I may have: ditch/gate

c.      To check connection and readiness to ride (i.e. good attitude, not safety LOL)

d.     To practice or review a concept to promote understanding in the saddle i.e HQ yield

e.     Periodic clean-up of my skills

f.       I have no interest in PNH as such only where I see that it will promote my understanding and thus relationship.

2.     Riding

a.     For fun, freedom, release, yawhoo, not thinking—as ½ of what we do this is a big need that both Try and I have and we can't be happy without plenty of it to balance the precision!!!!!!

b.     Precision riding

                                                    i.     At present spending the majority of our time breaking down, practicing cueing, Both Try and I enjoy precision but repetition quickly gets boring for us both without progressing it to have new thoughts and problem solving.

                                                  ii.     I have no interest in dressage as such—only as it helps Try and I relationship and fitness. I have no interest in any competitive discipline.

Friday - On Our Own

I was bored watching on line CLE class required to maintain my law license--SO--I decided to take the lunch hour etc. and go to the barn and give Try a little loving/carrot as a thank you for being her and being a part of a great week.

I got there and Bethanna and MH had had issues with Mimi (RBE) being upset while MH's LBE Charm was so happy and better in his pasture with all the big boy geldings. Apparently they had brought Mimi in to groom handle (she turns 2 in October) as she has been living out and the decision has been made to offer her more experiences. Anyway she was unhappy and when she got back to her new pasture with Try she was really annoying to Try. Bethanna wanted me to take Try out and we rehearsed how to do this safely--turned out to be a non issue as I am handy with stick and string. LOL

So why not go ahead and ride? Bethanna wanted to get Roscoe and see how she would do with the ground work prep Dan did before she rode yesterday and needed someone else around for safety, especially because it was very windy with storm coming.

Try and I played with the cueing--see notes for 21 days to form a habit.

Some interesting highlights:
Try offered, out of the blue with no cueing whatsoever from me--
1. Riding: Sidepass the cavaletti
2. Liberty--walking together--she stopped and offered vertically straddle a cavaletti
3. Riding: Cool sidepassing at a trot right and left on the driveway--she wanted to leave the farm and get to the good grass out on the road. I could have shut this down but it was fun so why not. We could even use this another day to play with my cueing it from the straight or shaped turn in my body.
4. Glorious, sweet, relaxed, helpful stick-to-me and the golf cart when I brought all the equipment, tack etc in when the rain started. walk/halt/changes of direction, maneuver around obstacles etc.

The cueing and above interspersed with plenty of dwell time as Try and I watched Bethanna and Roscoe. I thought about not having a plan and just doing, had some passenger time and just hanging out.


Bethanna and Roscoe's session: I was surprised that it did not meet expectations. Bethanna wasn't sneaky cautious but didn't push his buttons like Dan did. She also didn't work on as long a rope tho he did get a chance to let go of energy circling with the flank rope. She was able to swing stick/string all around his body and he was tolerant of her in zone 4. He was good with lateral flexion but stiff on the right side. Bethanna was concerned that she did not get the tension out of his ribs, especially right side and she felt a potential buck when she tightened the girth.--but did give riding a whirl--it was fine walk and trot in a ??30 meter circle but when she tried riding around the ring into some of the claustrophobic and scarier areas and the wind really picked up--she got off. I think she is going to call Dan to ask a few questions as Dan set her up so beautifully to ride Roscoe yesterday. She does not want to risk being bucked off--if she can't fix this then he will need to go to someone in the area who "breaks" horses and she does not want to do that. I just hate this--people should not have equine babies unless they are prepared to give them the early experiences and start--to set them up for a happy life!!!!

21 days to form a new habit(s) days 1-3

It is the highest priority to me to start at the absolute beginning of cueing while riding from the standpoint of teaching/control/reinforcement and refining or putting to a purpose/progressing.

Why? 1. Contact with a horse's mouth is so far something that emotionally I can't feel good about.
2. The better my cueing, the more polite and respectful of Try's ability, the happier she is and our relationship.
3. Cueing from my body language--matching and mirroring is the most natural riding aid to me with my dance background of communicating to an audience through movement.

For success:
1. Go slow and go step by step to be clear and polite
2. Druthers--LB--I need polite, consistent way (with phases) to have a conversation with Try that yes I understand this isn't her first choice of activities at the moment but yes this is what we are going to do and I would like you to pay attention and give it your best effort.


So--redo my cueing list I started a few weeks ago updating with what I did with Dan riding. Then need to fill out/redo the upward and downward transition cueing.

Then--21 days of repetition--with variety and progression to keep Try happy.
Analyzing how effective I am and why/whynot.
Most important not to get side tracked.

Day 1: Dan and the backup--see notes
Day 2: Dan--backup, forward with changes of speed within a walk, turns on a circle straight or shaping and pivot on HQs. see notes

Day 3: first day Try and I on our own.
Backup: I was able to get it from wheelbarrow leg. But I have a question--if my body says the direction is backward and the first leg says GO--when or if--can we drop all leg cueing in the backup? We did put this to purpose of backing a cavaletti pole and she offered to sidepass off the pole. Later we backed along a jump--this could be further put to purpose of backing along the rail at the judges stand or out by the pasture gates. Also speed, distance and pattern.

Forward from a standstill: This is the easiest to cue. To progress this add changes of speed within the walk before trotting.

Turning straight in my body--we have this at the walk and trot--thank you Kathy.
Turning by shaping/bending my body--I really felt how to do this without twisting from my hips and it was incredible--that little bit of bend in my body she would match so easily.
We were able to progress this into serpentines so easily and I am sure we are ready for the trot. Also I want to think of a couple of good patterns.

Pivot on HQ--Dan and Kathy were pleased with this Day 2 but I still don't like it--I feel that I am hauling Try around by her front end.

Also transitions of gait in the future. Turning we started because I have felt very uncomfortable cueing laterals with all sorts of leg and rein aids in lessons.

Wednesday - Dan Thompson - babies and Try

Today was exciting to watch and do, fun and full of ideas to chew upon! In the afternoon, as I was driving into town savoring the 78 degree, sunny weather, I thought back with a warm all encompassing feeling of how good everything is. I loved the camaraderie and sense of all of us helping each other.

Roscoe and MH's babies: So impressed with what Dan was able to accomplish while explaining it for all of us with such a sense of fun and joy for us. Roscoe hugely improved on Wednesday the second day. Interesting to compare how much farther along Roscoe is than the babies.

Part of me wishes I had that skill to do the fixing of emotional issues and/or work with young horses--there is a reason that few Parelli instructors are licensed to work with problem horses or young horses. Honestly I don't read the horses that well, quickly enough or have the timing although I know so many of the games and alternate ways to play. Even with the number of years of Parelli study I have under my belt, I can not read horses as well as Bethanna who is not a student of PNH. I need to come to grips with the fact that I will not achieve the level of horsemanship of Dan or Bethanna nor will I have the knowledge of dressage of Kathy or MH.

Try and I and Dan (and Lisa observing):

We went last and had a riding session as we did not get to that on Tuesday. I like the clarity I am gaining from talking with Dan and Dawn about where I am at--my dislike of riding with even the soft feel.

So began the session and ended it that my plan now is
1/2 my riding each week to be the yeehaw, fun, freedom, not thinking, let loose time
1/2 my riding for precision as both Try and I like this when successful. This precision to be aimed at a new mind set for me about cueing in riding--awareness and consistency but a program to get away from using the reins and legs and toward using seat and weight cues.

For this session we picked the precision rather than yeehaw--perhaps because the ring was muddy again and footing iffy. Dan challenged Try and me to back up from seat cues. We can do this but not consistent and it wasn't working. We could do it with seat and then light rhythm of carrot stick to tell Try what I was asking BUT if I had been consistent she would have been sure that seat means backing--though there is always the issue of druthers (control/reinforce). Dan suggested an intermediate alternative--so cueing for backup from wheelbarrow backing game:
1. Life up--go slow so it can register
2. Back in my body--again slow, distinct step
3. Porcupine touch with one leg and release, again slow and clear
4. Repeat with other leg
5. repeat legs
6. if she wants to go forward instead of backing--lift the rein--do not pull back to cue a backup

I did get to experience twice the sense of closing my eyes and feeling us in sync with my leg and hers in the backup. Initially before I slowed down I caused Try, who cares so easily, to get emotional. RBE in a rush.

Homework: take my cuing lists for riding out and fill out the steps/phases/caveats/etc. Will email them to Lisa to provide built in discipline.

Next I mentioned a remaining "fear" Try has is opening and closing a gate. A claustrophobia--perhaps from pushing into the gate/barrier--complicated by my LBI/RBE get er done/rushing. I thought the issue might be my leaning on her right side but I changed my mind. There is only one (or two) gates on the property that can be opened/closed from horseback so I have found I can practice this on the rail at the judge's stand. Try will sidepass in to pick me up to mount and be very relaxed but not with me on her back. SOOO go slow, smaller chunks, build confidence and relaxation in the smaller chunks.

Playing with the gate concept--I initially just rode up to the rail and leaned over and Try stepped away. Dan asked--"What is the only thing I didn't care about in that maneuver? Dan said I would not like the answer and I didn't and I still don't--the answer the only thing I wasn't caring about was TRY. I so want to change this!!!!!!!!!!

At the end Dan said for me to TRUST MYSELF!!

Tuesday with Dan and Roscoe

I checked with Bethanna early am as it occurred to me that I did not need 3 hours with Dan and Try and could give her an hour. She and Jocelyn had both wanted to see in January if Dan could work with Roscoe--an eight year old untaught and unstarted complicated LBE pony they purchased. Bethanna suggested that Dan or Dan and I feel free to play with Roscoe during my time. We did so and then I got Bethanna to come watch as it was hugely important and MH came and watched as well. Dan did ??40 minutes or so of foundation play. Then because he felt there was some dangerous bucking in Roscoe (early on in friendly game claustrophobia), worked with 2 22' lines one on Roscoe's flank and we saw a lot of big bucking. Bethanna was hugely impressed as she is the one starting to ride Roscoe and scheduled another session for him Wednesday and asked Dan to add Thursday to his schedule as well. She then called Jocelyn to get her to schedule two session for her new 22 month old warmblood baby as well! MH getting to schedule an hour each for her warmblood yearlings on both Wed/Thur. Lots of excitement!!!

Anyway here is my idea of the session with Roscoe and my assessment from what Dan said that Roscoe needs in the way of foundation--to be updated of course.

Roscoe Observations:
Where was Roscoe thinking--away from humans.
Could Roscoe yield the power--his HQ--starting from square one with porcupine.

·        Draw: he actually ran to me in the field--super draw.

·        Awareness of his environment—he kept looking around while we walked up to the ring and the entire time in the ring

·        He may be 8 years old but he lacks foundation needed for relationship with humans

·        He is basically a left brain horse and he moves his feet really easily so basically extraverted as well

·        He loses confidence and has a lack of basic foundation with the following issues:—

o   Squeeze game claustrophobia issues

o   Learning situation with humans he doesn’t understand to seek the answer/good deal to relieve pressure

o   His answer to pressure is to move his feet and he needs to know there are other alternatives

o   He is less confident is moving his HQ than his front end

o   He would likely learn to back up fairly easily (to me important to safety)

o   Circling game—he made upward transitions easily. But when asked with body language to make downward transitions he did not respond to the cues and with repeated pressure just went to higher gaits rather than seek the answer--for some time on both sides--then did figure it out.

o   He is really smart and could be an excellent learner

·        Ideas for foundation games

o   Friendly game

§  Human’s back to the fence—stick and string—quit when he stands still

§  Lots of rope/stick/string play so he learns it’s not about the rope/stick/string—it’s about the human

§  Drunken sailor game, green ball, raincoat, tarp

o   Connection with the human—not ignoring—find my focus?

o   Porcupine/driving games for HQ/FQ and yoyos

o   Circling game teaching response to subtle cues from the human

o   Teaching problem solving i.e. pedestal, touch it

o   Lots of squeeze games to determine what claustrophobia issues he may have—tarp, tight spaces, over, under, pedestal, water, ditch, etc.

o   Sideways not as high a priority now

o   Bonding, friendly, dwell time to find a greater and greater degree of relaxation

Wednesday: Roscoe was hugely improved over Tuesday.
1. the caveat to circling game--using pressure to teach Roscoe to seek another solution than moving his feat was that he can go introverted and freeze up--solution being either wait or Dan used the little pestering/jiggling the rope.
2. Issue how or who addresses the issue--studying myself for extent of my skill--playing with intensity--mostly confident with this with Try. Don't trust my ability to read quickly and have good timing--Bethanna is way better at this.
3. If horse can not handle intensity in the friendly game--he is not ready for intensity put to purpose. Comparing Roscoe to the MH's babies.

Tuesday with Dan and Try

2014 2 18

Try and I

·        What about the repetition/mirroring game from acting class to put the focus on catching the moments? Yes this is fun and I think it is working—I lose sight of this as I focus on task. Working better for me right now to verbalize out loud even if that is obnoxious to Try. I feel this is my weakest area right now—As RBE I should be catching the moments easily, be very sensitive, but as LBI I get focused on task/goals. Picture, plan, feel. I want more time to just be in the moment having RBE fun and joy for both Try and I. Perhaps I should replicate the  visualization Erik Franklin integrating the right and left sides of brain.

·     

   I find it easier to have fun, go moment to new moment and improv on the ground as that is a form of dance. I do need to give my self credit for the fact I can do this as I remember back in level 1 or 2 thinking I could not imagine being able to use tools, games in an unconscious way enough to improvise.

·      

  RIDING PART ONE: SO how can Try and I improv while riding? (caveat: safety) Really this needs to be an equally big part of our riding as the dressage/learning/physical development segment.

a.      Actually, I am only interested in Parelli or dressage as an activity we can do together with presumably some benefits—psychological health/Parelli and physical conditioning/dressage. As LBI I won’t be satisfied without a learning and growth component—just going to the barn and hanging out without purpose would not work for me.

b.      So improv—I remember when BA called out a pattern/gait/riding style every few strides and how much fun Try and I had. I could replicate this with taped instructions or likely get Katie to help me. Radical transitions.

c.      Letting go of thinking!!!

d.      Yeehaw in the field and Kathy’s snow skiing serpentines for fun, physical and emotional fitness and loosening the spring.

e.      Use improv of whatever pops into my mind or whatever Try offers whatever riding discipline we may draw from.

f.       Barrel racing, point to point

g.      Passenger

h.      Trashing, being silly, and finding characters, playing with different energy levels and with music.

i.       It’s all good information.

·        RIDING PART TWO

a.      I still after two years am not comfortable with bit and contact—I have tried to hide it from myself but am facing up to the fact that it is not going away

b.      There is a possible solution as I do love the part of dressage that has Try looking so healthy. See photo age 23 in April looking pretty good! Thanks to all concerned!

c.      Experiment: ride with pretend contact i.e. tiniest big of slack in the reins but doing everything in my body as if I have contact. A sort of softer than soft feel LOL. I will need to see if Kathy and MH can live with this.

d.      Then I see signs of Try coming up through her topline without contact i.e. on line circling—I really want that to come from Try mirroring my doing that in MY body instead of asking with tiny pressure of ring fingers on the reins.

e.      Next issue for me and dressage is laterals—I am hugely uncomfortable with using two reins and one or two legs to cue them. Try is not stupid and it is rude of me to ask with all of that. I want to take the time to experiment with phases so I only use the reins to teach or reinforce and teach Try to mirror my body instead.

f.       This all seems more authentic, more kind and something I can be happy about.

g.      Perhaps this is a freestyle dressage/finesse—finding a new combined way of riding??

Other comments from the session

1.      The Ditch--the most important issue is Try being afraid of getting in trouble for being wrong!!

a.      One of Try’s fears is crossing a water filled ditch or even ditches in general. She has the tendency to cross them by blasting through them with her full power and energy which is not so safe for me.

b.      This was the first thing we saw in the session. Dan worked with Try and then helped me to do it. Try was afraid to even consider the task at first, then afraid to even look at the ditch, then would explore a bit and retreat. Very similar to trailer loading which she has always done well. Finally she crossed for Dan a couple times with improvement. Then my turn—still too much energy tho improved and I let go of the rope--which allowed her to not feel she was getting into trouble for being wrong. Then refined to ask for turn and face after crossing and saw a final more relaxed crossing that Try offered without being asked.

c.      Issue: the final big fear is opening gates and I think it is my leaning on her right side. I want to ask about this.

2.      Improv on the ground

a.      Good way to play with matching energies i.e. start with my syncing to her then a gradual change to more energy at first. I would not want to slam her with big energy immediately but surely want to play with it. But not always big energies and not for long. Different games, games of direction with different energies—will she match energy and my body position—circling and sideways match my body.

b.      Circling game—I have not focused on task for task sake and have lost precision in my body in circling and likely other games—remember to open the door rather than block Try’s leaving on the send.

Monday Feb 17 - First ride in 10 days

In the pasture: I looked down to arrange halter and lead--looked up and she was right there.
spent some time with the repetition game
Grooming the caked mud on her lower legs
Warming up in the ring--walk/easy trot--hanging out
MH rode Try for 15 minutes--easy walk/trot--said she was nice and forward, lots of licking and chewing. After going from trot to walk then back to trot--some tail swishing--guess she thought she was done.
Finished with Try taking me for a walk up the road for grazing!

Phone coaching 2/11 re goals over time, improv, Try's fitness

2014 2 11 Phone coaching with Dawn

·        Perfect moment exploration—also check out Chasing Daylight

·        Using goal board over time!

o   Linda just erases -- doesn’t worry about “losing” todos—they will come back if need be

o   Linda suggests fewer things on board—important to me to not overwhelm myself

o   Things erased—unconscious competence

o   Let it go—less is more

·        Overthinking goals vs being in the moment

o   I know I miss moments with Try by concentrating on the plan

o   As RBE I have natural talent for catching moments

o   Catching moments: remember repetition game in acting and nonverbal

§  Apply to Try by verbalizing what she is telling me

o   Internal battle of LBI vs RBE—remember exercise at ADF—Erik Franklin

·        Riding improvisation

o   I am comfortable improving on the ground

o   In the saddle pick a day and play with riding and no plan

o   Moment to new moment

o   Mirror Try

o   Jim Carrey energy and sense of fun

o   Explore what would happen

o   The unexpected

o   Giving up control and unrealistic unconscious safety concerns

o   Yoyo

·        Try’s fitness

o   I am always concerned with this and excited to release guilt

o   Try looks GREAT for soon to be 23!

o   Yes to basic hack carefully

o   Yes to apply principals of exercise for my 67 year old body to her 22 year old.

o   Yes to maintaining strength of top line

o   Consistency is all important for arthritic horse and human LOL

o   Vary the program—dressage strength and flexibility, hack for strength and aerobic health

o   Patterns and variety, rest, the unexpected riding yeehaw in the field to loosen the spring for psychology health and to prevent boredom

o   REWARD THE EFFORT

o   Dressage—power from HQ from free rhythm and Try finding her own balance

Goals for Feb 11-17

• Big LBE positive energy
• Awareness of self talk
• Awareness of relat w/strong personalities
• Jim Carrey and Try
• Physical fitness
• Strength--pilates and wts
• Stretch improv
• Aerobic--dvd or preferably walk/jog with Try
• Riding
• Experiment with no plan
• Jim Carrey sense of fun
• Improv/unexpected/in the moment

Monday - thinking toward goals for Feb 11-17

Today--possibly some dwell time with Try.

Thinking toward goals for week Feb 11-17
Time to quit whining about the weather.
Realistically I can't count on being able to do much with Try as far as furthering fitness/horsemanship goals.

What I can do--Continue my goals of big LBE POSITIVE energy and my physical fitness. Secondary will need to be dwell time/relationship/filling Try's bucket. Then riding todos and on line or liberty.

updated todo list--more on goals later today.
blue is Try bucket list
pink is awareness for success/LBE/cueing applies to all 4 savvies
yellow is riding

Weekend

Saturday watched Lisa's dressage lesson with Patrick at Wind Drift indoor. He helped Lisa and Tiara make an immediate change to huge big HQ engagement. From first level dressage to second/third quality. Stopped by on the way home and spent some dwell time with Try (thirty degrees and sleeting).

Sunday--again 30 minutes or so of dwell time--cold/wind chill.
Monday through Wednesday weather doesn't look do-able either--another sleet/snow storm coming.

Moved to New Bern in 1973--this is the coldest/wettest winter in my memory. In eastern NC winters we can almost always find 3 ride-able days per week. AND not just ride-able. I would really like to play with Try and rhythm in the circling game and that has not been possible for ?? weeks.

Conclusion--dwell time, go for walks together out on the county road, grab what little time works for whatever we can do. Lower expectations as consistency to achieve many goals will not be possible.

Wow - Finally a Day to Ride

Friday--the ring was ok to walk/trot and careful canter on the rail only in the ring and a section of Try's pasture at the top of the hill was ok for careful on line or liberty play.

When I went to Try's pasture--at first from 100-?150 yards away--she saw me and turned her back on me and walked over to the fence next to the yearlings. (On Thursday I stopped by the barn for a little dwell time and treats and she was happy to come to me.) My expression?? Anyway I walked out and around toward her HQ and she turned and came to me nicely.

Then I checked out a little yoyo--no energy at all.
Groom, saddle up.

In the ring: easy warmup then walk/trot/canter transitions so I can play with watching myself cueing, playing with Janice Dulak's 9 essentials for balanced riding, and checking out trot rhythm quality. The trot was absolutely not our best--could be the inconsistency/weather or even the lack of any dressage time in many weeks now.

I did play with riding with contact in MY body  but on a loose rein--ie pretending that I was connecting with Try's mouth--important for stability in the connection at the posting trot--it there if I think about it but not when I have to think about something else.
i.e. elbows at my side with back of armpit dropping down toward my waist, triceps engaged, forearms, hands and fingers relaxed and thumb index finger holding the reins then FOLLOW Try's movement.

Bethanna got me started with riding with soft feel/connection and then a bit of contact--before she regained amateur status and quit teaching lessons--she even found Keystone for me as my 2nd horse for a year. This is also consistent with Kathy's teaching--MH concentrates on developing Try more than my position. (thumb--thank you for the reminder Dawn--Kelly taught this last spring--I rode and drove my car with this for ages and then some how it slipped away from my consciousness.)

At the end of our ride I wanted to pick up a rope from the floor of the Judge's stand with my carrot stick and Try would not let me do it. She was ok being next to it but when I had to lean over to reach the rope she would walk away. We did this probably 10 times with no success. So I got off and got the rope and then Try happily sidepassed in so I could mount. GRR

I am wondering if my leaning off her RIGHT side is the issue to explore. I know she is less confident and have explored this various ways and times with Dan. Have a list of things where Try gets emotional and have had real success in reducing # and severity. (leaving the ring, bowtie as successes--have never fixed the opening the gait issues which is what happened at the Judge's stand)

Next riding out of the ring--some emotion/adrenalin came up (old habit)--and we fixed that pretty quickly. We do not leave without relaxation.

Lastly--back to her pasture and the best part of the day. We got to the better footing area and played hard with big energy, speedy reactions etc--improvisation. I Loved it--she licked and chewed and seemed so much more connected as well.

coping with winter weather LOL

So glad I am not alone in wanting some great riding weather and footing.

Perfect moments

Tuesday
Weekly phone call with my sister Mary--laughing, sharing, connecting.

Wednesday
So many great moments today--ie great time visiting with Rose Marie. But the #1 perfect moment was in Lowe's with Wendy (general contractor for home renovation) picking out stuff when we got to talking about the first time our horses saw the ocean. Lovely moment laughing and acting out, right there in the aisle at Lowe's, our horses reaction. A cool, RBE, alive, in-the-moment time.

Try did not actually do this but love the photo!! Thinking about Try and feeling safe--not only her unusual bravery and LBI laid back nature BUT after more than a decade together I can immediately feel fear/adrenalin etc coming up in her body and assess and protect myself.

Thursday: watching RFD-TV--Linda Parelli success with her horse/tears. (note also watched Lynne's lesson with Kathy and then lunch with Kathy)

Friday: playing with big energy with Try
Saturday: seeing Tiara make a huge, immediate change in HQ engagement.
Sunday: Downton Abbey--fully absorbed
Monday: pedicure in massage chair while chatting with Andrea
Watching the snow fall
Getting up and seeing the full moon
Valentines Day at Big Lots
Reading old newspaper accounts from early 1900's about my grandfather's family
Rearranging items in the kitchen
Walking with Try

Watching Dan Thompson and the exciting pony Roscoe with MH and Bethanna.
Driving in the car to run errands and savoring the 78 degree sunny weather while enjoying the happy, excited feeling at the barn on the moment of enjoying being together watching Dan Thompson with the babies and the feeling that great things are on the horizon.
Lunch with MH, BA, Dan
Watching Dan coach BA riding Roscoe

Magic moments
Try sidepassing at a trot on the driveway
Stick-to-me and the golf cart loving and responsive
Mustang going from fearful to ultimate relaxation
Planting flowers outside with C.H.
Having everything out of bathroom and ready for demolition

New Week - Fresh Start

Last week was a week of rethinking everything. This week can be a week of putting things back together in a way that is more authentic to who I am and what I want my life to be.

WHY?

WHY

• What is the legacy I want to leave? 
• I have begun valuable dance programs in my area 
• I have supported and mentored dancers and dance efforts
• I have supported and mentored horse people/playday group, facebook group
• I have supported my husband and been a true friend 
• I have supported my sisters and family
• I have taken great care of my horse(s) to the very best of my abilities and resources.
• what should be in my obit?
• achievement
• education: BA/MSW/JD//honors
• dance contributions: started 3 community programs, state board memberships
• state-wide recognition N&O, Gov.Award
• horsemanship love
• love of husband, family, friends
• recognition of mentoring: perfs dedicated to me by Paige, JTB, Arts Council Barry, ECU
• What does horsemanship study or even just being with Try mean to me?
• Something to do to bring happiness, joy and passion during this period of my life
• Gives me a passion that energizes me
• I truly must, as RBE, be physically active
• Something to do with Try that seems kind
• Try is my legs as I can't be as fully athletic as I used to be
• It makes me feel good to be with Try
• It makes me feel good to be outdoors
• Makes me proud and gives me an identity as a horsewoman.
• Excitement to turn horse on to learning and relating in a different way
• I love to really move with freedom - RBE fulfillment
• What do I want to do with the horsemanship knowledge I am acquiring?
• Not obvious at this time and perhaps it would make me happy and fulfill a present need if I can figure it out??
• Help horses be happier
• I need to some how prove a certain level of horsemanship competence
• Do not want to teach, travel, compete/perform--been there, done that--supposed to be retired
• What makes life worth living?
• Exciting challenges physical/mental/emotional that absorbs my attention
• law school--first summer
• dance--Mt Airy performance
• the excitement of achieving impossibilities
• BUT I think I have outgrown the need for quite that level of excitement
• Calm, organization and routine in moderation
• Sharing my life with others, an RBE must
• Being healthy
• being physically active
• being outdoors
• mental activity--new thoughts and organization of thoughts
• having a peaceful, organized, tidy, but not obsessive home
• learning, growing, improving
• making things better 
• supporting others
• being able to experience and enjoy my emotions
• What would I like others to say about me (when I leave the room).
• That I am a caring person
• That I am helping them reach their goals
• That I am smart
• That I am an incredible learner
• That I am enjoyable to be with
• That my horsemanship cueing and use of phases and timing is incredible
• That they admire my horsemanship (Parelli/dressage students do--hunters not so much)
• That sometimes I am crazy but in a good way
• That I have a huge joyous energy
• What would I like Try to say about me?
• That she loves me (she does)
• That I read her like a book
• That I am sensitive to her needs and desires
• That I take good care of her needs
• That I make her life interesting
• That she enjoys my being silly and funny
• That she loves all the cool experiences she has had with me
• That I am her good friend and we can have fun together
• That she would rather be with me than do anything else
• How do I define success
• Daily
• Organized home
• Fulfilled daily obligations to myself i.e. vitamins, floss teeth
• Balance of energy -- just the right amount of activity
• Having chill time
• Weekly
• At least a couple small horsemanship successes
• Clean desk, todos done
• Chill time
• Family time
• Monthly
• ???

Challenge: Have or find a perfect moment every day—be in that moment and savor it.

Time of transition and change?? Try and I both have a birthday in April and much as I would like to pretend that neither of us are effected by age and ignore it--she will be 23 and I will be 68 making us much the same age. Both of us are very healthy for our respective ages, with a bit of arthritis that isn't getting in our way all that much. Our learning/past careers/history do play into what we want now. Also there is a coming to terms with some changes in physical capabilities for us both that I will need to continue to consider. For example riding two horses a day (good hacks) 5 days a week is too much for me at this time. Actually it is the mental exhaustion that catches up to me sooner/more than the physical and being mentally wiped out when I have other responsibilities in my life does not make me happy.

WHY am I spending money on dressage lessons:

• Initially to try to create my own Linda Land.
• Some how I thought it was the path to level 4 finesse 
• Because I can and am fortunate to be able to do so. 
• I like to take advantage of opportunities
• To further my overall horsemanship knowledge.
• Because dressage is the underpinning and basis of horse physical development

Dressage lessons - How to adjust dressage learning to prevent boredom for Try. Watch Try's expression. Give breaks. Incentive to try harder in the moment. consider: fixing before it happens vs teaching responsibility. subtle nagging and micromanaging Can we pursue the most beginning levels in a way that promotes good physical health for Try without any connection to her front end--bit/halter/etc? Is there a much more laid back way to approach this?

What is my expected outcome?
A powerful, healthy, reasonably fit horse with curiosity about the process/learning.

WHY am I studying Parelli Natural Horsemanship?

• Initially to understand Try better
• To learn to communicate with Try in a loving reasonably effective manner
• To learn to read horses better
• Sense of community
• To feel a sense of success and accomplishment

WHY continue to study PNH?

• There is so much, so repetitive information that I find it hard to sift thru to find what I want: Can be overwhelming amount of information and task to absorb and apply.
• Video learning much more difficult way to learn than with instructor 1 on 1 in the present--leading to not feeling successful. Also--the topic based dvd series seem easier to apply than the monthly dvds.
• PNH--use of the same images and phrases over and over can desensitize--cause them to be parroted but not have much meaning behind them. Using creative new images and ways of expressing the same info promotes rethinking and learning.
• I have lost interest in progressing through the levels--doesn't seem like much fun for either of us. Not finding a place for myself in the program after passing level 3.
• Feeling disconnected after PNH shifting gold membership emphasis to that of increasing the number of instructors.
• Would be hard to wean myself away from PNH after so many years and friendships.

So obviously I am currently going through a total rethinking of everything about horsemanship, perhaps brought on by Dan leaving.

1. Why am I studying dressage and what do I hope to achieve? Am I having any success? Can I gain clarity and make it simpler--small do-able/learn-able chunks to find feeling of success within an enormously complicated subject? Can I become successful with homework and repetition on my own?

Can I keep Try happy while we study dressage (or anything)--should we plan that taking time off (i.e. winter/August) is a good thing? How do I really feel about riding with contact with the bit? How to terms with wanting dressage to be something fun and pleasant for Try? Boredom?

2. Why should I study Parelli anyway--have I gotten the best out of it with better means to achieve the same goals? Somehow materials not working for me for some time. No replacement for Dan.

3. Should Try and I just get together and have dwell time on the ground and passenger time in the saddle and forget learning anything? NO this would drive me crazy with boredom. Perhaps just until better weather?

4. Would having a second horse help? Do I have the time, energy and $$ for that on an ongoing basis? I am not willing to re-home Try--I have seen so many times horses not being cared for to the degree I need to feel comfortable about her care. Also we are so connected and a part of each other!!

5. Emotionally would it be possible to get out of horses altogether? NO and I NEED it to meet my need to be physically athletic.

I think this is valuable positive assessment/study, whatever the outcome, so I can be clear about what I want and goals in keeping with that. I like putting positive spins on everything--much of this is negative--must I dig through the negative to find a greater positive?

What is the progress I want--how to adjust to get the plan, picture feel I want.
Picture--Photo of Try and I with Dan in fall--I like how fit Try looks. BUT, this was in a lesson with Dan and I see a lack of confidence/relaxation and a touch of anger in her expression. (Dan was pushing us pretty hard to help overcome anxiety on her right side.)

I love the feel of our connected trot on a loose rein. Film trot rhythm this week if possible please.

----------------------------------------------------------------
Notes phone coaching Feb 4:

• Issue of making horse happy vs being effective. I am not alone.
• RBE --see it as my failure
• consider developmental stages of rapport, respect, impulsion and flexion. The initial step for me is to find the equal balance of rapport and respect so I can move to impulsion equal go and whoa without impulsiveness--then last able to get flexion with bending, softening, on the bit, without brace whatever. Each step going back to keep the balance of rapport and respect.
• RBE tendency to quit too soon to avoid upsetting my horse.
• Remember left brain horses will challenge/test you all the time--know that will be my journey.
• Driving game--play with this more than draw. i.e. Sideways away, circling, falling leaf Working on drive will make us better connected.
• Cueing circling game: on line: teach Try to differentiate which gait to pick up on the send
• trot--click, canter (click click for Pat, kiss for me) Be consistent. Teaches Try to pay attention to what happens before it happens. Click once as a promise.
• Click to prevent slowing the effort in the trot--no does not teach responsibility. Not Parelli. Leave her alone, release on her effort to neutral then my energy to drive until I feel her effort again.
• Western pleasure shuffling: taught Try to conserve her energy and effort.
• RB sensitive and in tune to relationship is advantageous except where horse pleasing holds me back.
• Quit too soon instead of pushing through to the picture. retreat. Game on--its RBE fun.
• Goal get to the middle of LB/RB human. Have fun.
• Play for expression and effort.
• Footing issues: dwell time and passenger on the county road.
• Moody mare: chasteberry Vitex see herbalcom.com 2 lb bag $5--lots of success. Vet coming soon to barn--will discuss all Chasteberry, Moody Mare, depo shot etc. Which, when, etc. I suspect the Moody Mare is no longer effective and if Chasteberry is any where need as good it will be better/less expensive. Depo shot--seems to have helped and might be a good idea during cyclical extremes for her which seem to occur relatively briefly a couple times a year.

Contact

• double jointed bit good bit to use
• pepper in--think soft touch is friendly game--following her no pressure not asking for anything, gain confidence, holding hands with the bit--no restriction. 
• It is not necessary to ride with connection. Can ride with precision without it.
• Simulations
• Reins mean go--I do get to use seat cue/engaged seat
• What is my direction: Am I progressing?
• Gorgeous big freestyle riding with an engaged seat???

Me

• Emotional today and rethinking everything. The darkest hour is before the dawn. Time for change and change is not easy??? Get off the merry-go-round that isn't making me feel successful.
• I want to achieve without being micro managed by an instructor. I thought to achieve what I was learning in lessons but is that really the picture I have in my mind? NO
• The picture: beautiful big free happy trot with loose rein--both of us with connected energy--Try stretching or coming up thru top line and connected to my abs.
• I have to find my own picture and flesh it out.