WHY
- What is the legacy I want to leave?
- I have begun valuable dance programs in my area
- I have supported and mentored dancers and dance efforts
- I have supported and mentored horse people/playday group, facebook group
- I have supported my husband and been a true friend
- I have supported my sisters and family
- I have taken great care of my horse(s) to the very best of my abilities and resources.
- what should be in my obit?
- achievement
- education: BA/MSW/JD//honors
- dance contributions: started 3 community programs, state board memberships
- state-wide recognition N&O, Gov.Award
- horsemanship love
- love of husband, family, friends
- recognition of mentoring: perfs dedicated to me by Paige, JTB, Arts Council Barry, ECU
- What does horsemanship study or even just being with Try mean to me?
- Something to do to bring happiness, joy and passion during this period of my life
- Gives me a passion that energizes me
- I truly must, as RBE, be physically active
- Something to do with Try that seems kind
- Try is my legs as I can't be as fully athletic as I used to be
- It makes me feel good to be with Try
- It makes me feel good to be outdoors
- Makes me proud and gives me an identity as a horsewoman.
- Excitement to turn horse on to learning and relating in a different way
- I love to really move with freedom - RBE fulfillment
- What do I want to do with the horsemanship knowledge I am acquiring?
- Not obvious at this time and perhaps it would make me happy and fulfill a present need if I can figure it out??
- Help horses be happier
- I need to some how prove a certain level of horsemanship competence
- Do not want to teach, travel, compete/perform--been there, done that--supposed to be retired
- What makes life worth living?
- Exciting challenges physical/mental/emotional that absorbs my attention
- law school--first summer
- dance--Mt Airy performance
- the excitement of achieving impossibilities
- BUT I think I have outgrown the need for quite that level of excitement
- Calm, organization and routine in moderation
- Sharing my life with others, an RBE must
- Being healthy
- being physically active
- being outdoors
- mental activity--new thoughts and organization of thoughts
- having a peaceful, organized, tidy, but not obsessive home
- learning, growing, improving
- making things better
- supporting others
- being able to experience and enjoy my emotions
- What would I like others to say about me (when I leave the room).
- That I am a caring person
- That I am helping them reach their goals
- That I am smart
- That I am an incredible learner
- That I am enjoyable to be with
- That my horsemanship cueing and use of phases and timing is incredible
- That they admire my horsemanship (Parelli/dressage students do--hunters not so much)
- That sometimes I am crazy but in a good way
- That I have a huge joyous energy
- What would I like Try to say about me?
- That she loves me (she does)
- That I read her like a book
- That I am sensitive to her needs and desires
- That I take good care of her needs
- That I make her life interesting
- That she enjoys my being silly and funny
- That she loves all the cool experiences she has had with me
- That I am her good friend and we can have fun together
- That she would rather be with me than do anything else
- How do I define success
- Daily
- Organized home
- Fulfilled daily obligations to myself i.e. vitamins, floss teeth
- Balance of energy -- just the right amount of activity
- Having chill time
- Weekly
- At least a couple small horsemanship successes
- Clean desk, todos done
- Chill time
- Family time
- Monthly
- ???
Challenge: Have or find a perfect moment every day—be in that moment and savor it.
Time of transition and change?? Try and I both have a birthday in April and much as I would like to pretend that neither of us are effected by age and ignore it--she will be 23 and I will be 68 making us much the same age. Both of us are very healthy for our respective ages, with a bit of arthritis that isn't getting in our way all that much. Our learning/past careers/history do play into what we want now. Also there is a coming to terms with some changes in physical capabilities for us both that I will need to continue to consider. For example riding two horses a day (good hacks) 5 days a week is too much for me at this time. Actually it is the mental exhaustion that catches up to me sooner/more than the physical and being mentally wiped out when I have other responsibilities in my life does not make me happy.
WHY am I spending money on dressage lessons:
- Initially to try to create my own Linda Land.
- Some how I thought it was the path to level 4 finesse
- Because I can and am fortunate to be able to do so.
- I like to take advantage of opportunities
- To further my overall horsemanship knowledge.
- Because dressage is the underpinning and basis of horse physical development
What is my expected outcome?
A powerful, healthy, reasonably fit horse with curiosity about the process/learning.
WHY am I studying Parelli Natural Horsemanship?
- Initially to understand Try better
- To learn to communicate with Try in a loving reasonably effective manner
- To learn to read horses better
- Sense of community
- To feel a sense of success and accomplishment
- There is so much, so repetitive information that I find it hard to sift thru to find what I want: Can be overwhelming amount of information and task to absorb and apply.
- Video learning much more difficult way to learn than with instructor 1 on 1 in the present--leading to not feeling successful. Also--the topic based dvd series seem easier to apply than the monthly dvds.
- PNH--use of the same images and phrases over and over can desensitize--cause them to be parroted but not have much meaning behind them. Using creative new images and ways of expressing the same info promotes rethinking and learning.
- I have lost interest in progressing through the levels--doesn't seem like much fun for either of us. Not finding a place for myself in the program after passing level 3.
- Feeling disconnected after PNH shifting gold membership emphasis to that of increasing the number of instructors.
- Would be hard to wean myself away from PNH after so many years and friendships.
So obviously I am currently going through a total rethinking of
everything about horsemanship, perhaps brought on by Dan leaving.
1. Why am I studying dressage and what do I hope to
achieve? Am I having any success? Can I gain clarity and make it simpler--small
do-able/learn-able chunks to find feeling of success within an enormously
complicated subject? Can I become successful with homework and repetition on my
own?
Can I keep Try happy while we study dressage (or
anything)--should we plan that taking time off (i.e. winter/August) is a good
thing? How do I really feel about riding with contact with the bit? How to terms with wanting dressage to be something fun and pleasant for Try? Boredom?
2. Why should I study Parelli anyway--have I gotten the
best out of it with better means to achieve the same goals? Somehow materials
not working for me for some time. No replacement for Dan.
3. Should Try and I just get together and have dwell time
on the ground and passenger time in the saddle and forget learning anything? NO
this would drive me crazy with boredom. Perhaps just until better weather?
4. Would having a second horse help? Do I have the time,
energy and $$ for that on an ongoing basis? I am not willing to re-home Try--I have seen so many times horses not being cared for to the degree I need to feel comfortable about her care. Also we are so connected and a part of each other!!
5. Emotionally would it be possible to get out of horses
altogether? NO and I NEED it to meet my need to be physically athletic.
I think this is valuable positive assessment/study, whatever the
outcome, so I can be clear about what I want and goals in keeping with that. I like putting positive spins on everything--much of this is negative--must I dig through the negative to find a greater positive?
What is the progress I want--how to adjust to get the plan, picture feel I want.
Picture--Photo of Try and I with Dan in fall--I like how fit Try looks. BUT, this was in a lesson with Dan and I see a lack of confidence/relaxation and a touch of anger in her expression. (Dan was pushing us pretty hard to help overcome anxiety on her right side.)
I love the feel of our connected trot on a loose rein. Film trot rhythm this week if possible please.
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Notes phone coaching Feb 4:
- Issue of making horse happy vs being effective. I am not alone.
- RBE --see it as my failure
- consider developmental stages of rapport, respect, impulsion and flexion. The initial step for me is to find the equal balance of rapport and respect so I can move to impulsion equal go and whoa without impulsiveness--then last able to get flexion with bending, softening, on the bit, without brace whatever. Each step going back to keep the balance of rapport and respect.
- RBE tendency to quit too soon to avoid upsetting my horse.
- Remember left brain horses will challenge/test you all the time--know that will be my journey.
- Driving game--play with this more than draw. i.e. Sideways away, circling, falling leaf Working on drive will make us better connected.
- Cueing circling game: on line: teach Try to differentiate which gait to pick up on the send
- trot--click, canter (click click for Pat, kiss for me) Be consistent. Teaches Try to pay attention to what happens before it happens. Click once as a promise.
- Click to prevent slowing the effort in the trot--no does not teach responsibility. Not Parelli. Leave her alone, release on her effort to neutral then my energy to drive until I feel her effort again.
- Western pleasure shuffling: taught Try to conserve her energy and effort.
- RB sensitive and in tune to relationship is advantageous except where horse pleasing holds me back.
- Quit too soon instead of pushing through to the picture. retreat. Game on--its RBE fun.
- Goal get to the middle of LB/RB human. Have fun.
- Play for expression and effort.
- Footing issues: dwell time and passenger on the county road.
- Moody mare: chasteberry Vitex see herbalcom.com 2 lb bag $5--lots of success. Vet coming soon to barn--will discuss all Chasteberry, Moody Mare, depo shot etc. Which, when, etc. I suspect the Moody Mare is no longer effective and if Chasteberry is any where need as good it will be better/less expensive. Depo shot--seems to have helped and might be a good idea during cyclical extremes for her which seem to occur relatively briefly a couple times a year.
Contact
- double jointed bit good bit to use
- pepper in--think soft touch is friendly game--following her no pressure not asking for anything, gain confidence, holding hands with the bit--no restriction.
- It is not necessary to ride with connection. Can ride with precision without it.
- Simulations
- Reins mean go--I do get to use seat cue/engaged seat
- What is my direction: Am I progressing?
- Gorgeous big freestyle riding with an engaged seat???
Me
- Emotional today and rethinking everything. The darkest hour is before the dawn. Time for change and change is not easy??? Get off the merry-go-round that isn't making me feel successful.
- I want to achieve without being micro managed by an instructor. I thought to achieve what I was learning in lessons but is that really the picture I have in my mind? NO
- The picture: beautiful big free happy trot with loose rein--both of us with connected energy--Try stretching or coming up thru top line and connected to my abs.
- I have to find my own picture and flesh it out.
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