Wednesday - thoughts about fears

If love and fear can not co-exist then the fear must go.

FEAR of being INJURED

Try: I do not recall ever being afraid of getting hurt BUT I also feel completely free to call a halt to anything that doesn't feel right.

What is the fear--the worst that can happen? That I am too old and not physically strong enough or a good enough rider and I will fall and be permanently disabled for a good long miserable old age.

Many injuries or falls in my riding past I have realized occurred when I was stressed in a lesson situation but not all. I also fell with Spiderman when he spooked. Also a factor several times was being over over tired.
When I am tired it is likely that my alignment is not good--rib cage collapsed rather than open.

Reminder:
1. not tired
2. open ribcage/shoulders back
3. trot on my balance point and more vertical
4. sync/mirror and match Sephira
5. soft feel for connection??
6. my legs resting gently on her body

I am safe riding when I trust my judgement and go with it.
I respect myself enough to rest and take a day off as needed.
I am enjoying setting an unconscious habit of riding physically for alignment and safety.

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FEAR of losing Sephira

I feel bombarded with negativity. I do not want to worry that if I am not safe I can not keep Facebook posts of riders falling, getting killed. This is fueling fear.

Yesterday riding Sephira I was careful to sync with her trot and transitioned to the walk frequently--partly for my shoulder and also to build confidence. I was never in any danger of being out of control.

I am enjoying riding Sephira's beautiful big suspended trot.

I love this horse dearly and have promised the both of us that I will care for her for the rest of her life. I think with my Parelli background I can create a wonderful situation for Sephira--admiration for her talent and her beautiful spirit, physically in shape in a moderate healthful manner, mental challenge of the Parelli program and philosophy and a great deal of love from me and others. Also a facility geared to the upmost comfort, safety and relaxation. On the other hand, Sephira can give to me--the chance to learn more about the physical development and capabilities of horses, the opportunity to become a better rider by riding a very different horse physically than Try. Sephira can give Try a break. Sephira and I can connect on a deep level.
I feel we must be together.

I am so grateful that Sephira and I have found each other. 
We are both enjoying getting to know each other.
Sephira and I are so very attuned to each other.
I am aware and not taking riding for granted until Sephira and I know each other well.
I can say no. I do not need to "tough it out."